This Christmas was great. Shane decided to get started on shopping back in October, so we went a bit crazy on the kids. You know you’ve done well, when the kids all exclaim, “We got a lot of presents this year! Its my favorite Christmas ever!”

Whoo hoo! score for the wicked step-mother!

After waiting all morning for the kids to arrive in Salt Lake about 3pm, we rushed to Shane’s Mothers house and visted with her for about an hour, scrambled back to our apartment where the present opening frenzy began.

Afterwards, we drove to Grantsville to spend time with my family. All in all, it was a phenomenal day. Everyone ended up happy and content.

I will have to write more later on some of the fun that took place, but as I am at work, I have to so a little something before they hopefully let me go home early.

Cheers all!

What a wonderful gift!  I haven’t had a quality haircut in quite some time and hadn’t had my hair colored by someone other than myself in about 5 years.  I set up the appointment that same day.  The price menu from this spa listed the haircuts at $34 &up  and a full color weave at $64.  Me, having very short and fine hair (ya gotta love being a natural blonde!) I have never been charged more than the minimum for a haircut, so naturally I assumed that my cut would be the minimum $34, thus totaling out my evening of being pampered at $98.00.  Because I had no preference to my stylist, I was assigned to a gal named Shauna.

When I arrived for my appointment, Shauna was more attentive than I have yet experienced.  Mind you, I have no qualms with going to Supercuts or GreatClips, but the usual response I get when patronizing these establishments is a cursory glance at a photo, and off they go with scissors in hand.  Shauna, on the other hand, figuratively held my hand through the entire evening by making sure I had every choice and option available to me.  She definitely made sure we were on the same page before proceeding with the services.

We chatted throughout the procedures, and it was great.  I joked about my past haircuts at discount salons and talked about where I lived, where I worked etc. painting her a picture of being a middle income person who was splurging at a high end salon due to my good fortune in getting a gift card.  Never, in the 3 and a half hours did I ever indicate that posh spa’s were anywhere near the norm for me.

I have a phenomenal haircut and color.  Its easy to style, as she gave me tips and tricks to create different looks.  I set up a return appointment, thinking that I could alternate the cut and color so as not to drop $100.  Being free, it was okay to pay that much right?   But I figured that I could save up…Shauna was that great.

To my surprise, when I went to pay out, as I was pulling out a extremely generous tip, the receptionist totaled my bill out to $145!!!!!!!  I was confused and explained what I had ordered and what I had expected to pay.  It turns out that I was given a stylist who was a “level 2” stylist with their salon and therefore it increased both services by $10 automatically.  Not to mention, that throughout or consultation she had offered to either do a full weave to cover my roots, or just do a root touch up on the hair not being colored.. I told her to do what was easier.  Little did I know that it was an extra $27!!!  Had I taken the more difficult road, it wouldn’t have been any additional charges.

I was so ticked off!  I felt completely taken advantage of.  I quickly put my generous tip back in my wallet and requested my return appointment be cancelled.  Who in their right mind would pay $145 for something that will grow out or fade away within 6 weeks?!  Never in my life, would I or could I be that frivolous.  Even my worst haircuts have grown out to be replaced by other cuts…

At any rate, I look great for now,  and it feels pretty decadent (if not a bit wasteful) to be walking around with $145 worth of skill in my hair.  Yeah, I paid out of pocket $45, which some would say is a phenomenal deal for this level of artistry I carry around on my shoulders (wink, wink)  But alas, it will be forgotten in 3 months and no one will be the wiser for my naivete in trying to pretend to be the posh girl, going to a spa…

Today I have  a dentist appointment.  Blah.. I want to cancel it. I hate the dentist….

On  a happy note.  November is here..and I know most of you hate to hear it..I am starting to plan for Christmas.  No, the tree isn’t up yet…and I promised Shane that I wouldnt put it up until after Thanksgiving, but nevertheless, I am getting into the baking mode.  I feel the need to bake candies, cookies, cakes…

This turn of events doesnt bode well for my waistline or Shanes… lol

Its can’t bleeve its upon us again! Thanks to Barefoot Belle I am now signed up and are ready for another go. Last year I failed miserably..hopefully the few people (2?) will be able to keep me motivated. I will try if you will!!!

Visit NaBloPoMo

September 1st, Shane and I will move into OUR apartment. Let the rain fall….

Yeah, he chose me!!!   He wouldn’t have a problem trying for our own family.   It turns out that camping for 3 days makes us very poor communicators.  After a few hours of conversation, we were able to re-communicate what we both want out of the relationship.  And when it came right now to it… we both want the same things.     I won’t bore you with the details, but this last couple of weeks have really been great.  Shane’s behavior has changed a bit.  He seems to be more comfortable with me in general.  It seems like he is making a bigger effort to show me how he feels about me, and it feels wonderful.

Six months into the relationship, he was about 90% on board with me.  I figured that those were odds I could beat, plans for our future were starting to be made.  He knew where I stood on the whole kid issue.  I would not settle for a life without at least trying to have my own child.  It is who I am, and what I was put on this earth for.

Things this past couple months have been pretty stressful, and we’ve both been a bit snappy.  He needs time away from me, I started getting clingier…  Now, he is back to square one, where he is 90% sure he doesn’t want anymore kids.  And feels it unfair for me to back him into a corner. 

I told him that if those were my odds, then my only recourse was to end the relationship immediatley.  I couldn’t give up that dream.  Even if I could rationalize the fact that my infertility issues may be worse than I suspect and having a kid isnt even an option, I still need to try.  From my point of view, I feel that my clingyness and defensive attitude these past few weeks stem from my feelings of sacrifice.  The thought, ”I am giving up having kids for this?!” keeps running through my head everytime I feel even the least bit overlooked or taken for granted.  In the long run, I know that it would shatter the relationship in a terrible way.

So, I ended it.  He said he would stand by my decision, but then panicked and started lashing out in ways I could only describe as my own taste of hell.  He used his words very plainly and cruelly.  I knew he was slamming me due to his inability to take control of the situation.  He’s been slowly losing everything he cares about these past couple years and he’s losing me too.  I got it, as painful as my day was, I understood that he was only freaking out.

When he apologized and finally calmed down he was able to communicate a bit more rationally, and for the first time, point blank told me that he wanted to marry me.  This, although sweet to hear, was also more painful than the worst comment he had previously made.

So today, after he gets off work, we will talk.  If he changes his mind and feels that I am trustworthy enough to work a family into our equation, I will give him a chance.  I understand his worries.  His ultimate insecurity lies in the one thing I will not give up.  But if he stands by his original decision, I will have to walk away, and have to learn how to breathe on my own again. 

Im not sure how I will be able to muster up the courage.  Everywhere I go reminds me of him.  There’s not a street in Salt Lake City we havent driven down, looking for houses.  Hell, even today, I am helping my mom pack up her kitchen to move into a new house, and I am realizing that I may not have a kitchen of my own to put together.  All of the things Shane bought for me will stay with him, for someone else to use.