So the response was nothing I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. Apparently, my family thinks I am in need of anti-depressants. Yep. I am delusional and bi-polar.
So, yeah, it went pretty much nowhere. I talked it out with my parents and by the end of the night, I was confident that we were good. A couple of days later, however, I got a scathing email from my sister telling me how horrible I am. So, in lieu of the emotional climate, I opted out of Thanksgiving dinner. I did call and make sure there were no hard feelings, but ended up just staying home that day.
I stopped by the house today (4-5 weeks later) to drop off a plate of holiday goodies. On brother’s family was over, which is not unusual as they only live a couple blocks apart. Everything seemed fine. Strained, but fine.
Then I saw a stack of pictures on the counter. Being a camera enthusiast, I looked through them, and found a bunch of photos taken at my nieces birthday party at my parents house. Every family was represented at this party except for me. Even my newest baby niece, born 3 weeks ago was there.
No phone call to invite me.

So, I guess things aren’t good with my parents either. I’m not sure why I am surprised.

When you walk into my parents house, you are pleasantly assaulted by the church. There are pictures and statues of Jesus everywhere. The house has sayings about forever families and adages about keeping God close to your heart.

And yet, I, being sealed to them in the temple, am left out of a family get together. Do they get it? No…they just didnt want my bi-polar self clogging up the shallow surface happiness they all feel.

After seeing the pictures, I figured it was time to make my exit, rather than make a scene (they wait on eggshells for these apparently). My dad called asking why the sudden departure. I explained that I had seen the stack of pictures depicting a family party to which I had recieved no invite. His response? “Well, I hope you can forgive us.”
Said so casually…as if it were nothing. Not even shame that they had been caught.

My response kept up the whole depressed person they think I am. “I have to forgive, but nobody else seems to have to forgive me my shortcomings?”

It just doesn’t make sense. They could drown a person in their gospel, but the whole point is void.

I know God. I know Christ. I love them dearly. I try to not judge. I try to not gossip. But I am not perfect. I love my family, warts and all. But I don’t like the lying that goes on right under this gorgeous commissioned painting of Christ in Gethsemane in my parents front room.

As it is, I have talked to my husband, as well as some close friends/co-workers that have seen me day in and day out for 3-4 years. No one but my family seem to think I have depression problems.

I just don’t get it. My family, it seems is content to fall apart and blame it on me. Well, they aren’t falling apart, they’ve just begun to cut me out of the picture.

For a girl who hasn’t been to church in awhile, I have to admit, this is shaking me. I will always trust in my connection with Heavenly Father, but this whole family deal… I’ve always trusted in my dads judgement, and council, but this just isn’t making sense at all.

Today I wrote a rather intense, rather wordy email to my mother. In detail, I expressed my frustration at our relationship and tried to explain that I don’t hate her guts, but can’t be around her under the present circumstances. How do you think its going to go over? The only response I got back was. ” in response to your email, if you want to talk, come by after work today. queue the drumbeat….

Too much going on now. Lets see… Shane asked me to marry him on April 10th. We signed a contract to build a house on the 11th. Moved out of our apartment at the end of May (end of the lease) and have since been shacking up in the unfinished basement of a friend. Getting married on August 29th. (ya’ll are invited…cuz hell, if anyone is actually still checking up on this pathetic excuse of a blog, you must be a true friend!) and should close on our house 2-3 weeks into September. whew.

As Christmas has passed, and the decorations put away, I have decided to put a little more effort into writing. These last 2 years have been fairly void of news, and I miss having something I can read to remind me of fun thoughts and events.

This Christmas was great. Shane decided to get started on shopping back in October, so we went a bit crazy on the kids. You know you’ve done well, when the kids all exclaim, “We got a lot of presents this year! Its my favorite Christmas ever!”

Whoo hoo! score for the wicked step-mother!

After waiting all morning for the kids to arrive in Salt Lake about 3pm, we rushed to Shane’s Mothers house and visted with her for about an hour, scrambled back to our apartment where the present opening frenzy began.

Afterwards, we drove to Grantsville to spend time with my family. All in all, it was a phenomenal day. Everyone ended up happy and content.

I will have to write more later on some of the fun that took place, but as I am at work, I have to so a little something before they hopefully let me go home early.

Cheers all!

About a week ago, a gal I work with handed over a $100 gift certificate to a Day Spa she had won in a drawing awhile ago.  She explained that the expiration date was looming and that her schedule just didn’t allow her to take advantage of the money.

What a wonderful gift!  I haven’t had a quality haircut in quite some time and hadn’t had my hair colored by someone other than myself in about 5 years.  I set up the appointment that same day.  The price menu from this spa listed the haircuts at $34 &up  and a full color weave at $64.  Me, having very short and fine hair (ya gotta love being a natural blonde!) I have never been charged more than the minimum for a haircut, so naturally I assumed that my cut would be the minimum $34, thus totaling out my evening of being pampered at $98.00.  Because I had no preference to my stylist, I was assigned to a gal named Shauna.

When I arrived for my appointment, Shauna was more attentive than I have yet experienced.  Mind you, I have no qualms with going to Supercuts or GreatClips, but the usual response I get when patronizing these establishments is a cursory glance at a photo, and off they go with scissors in hand.  Shauna, on the other hand, figuratively held my hand through the entire evening by making sure I had every choice and option available to me.  She definitely made sure we were on the same page before proceeding with the services.

We chatted throughout the procedures, and it was great.  I joked about my past haircuts at discount salons and talked about where I lived, where I worked etc. painting her a picture of being a middle income person who was splurging at a high end salon due to my good fortune in getting a gift card.  Never, in the 3 and a half hours did I ever indicate that posh spa’s were anywhere near the norm for me.

I have a phenomenal haircut and color.  Its easy to style, as she gave me tips and tricks to create different looks.  I set up a return appointment, thinking that I could alternate the cut and color so as not to drop $100.  Being free, it was okay to pay that much right?   But I figured that I could save up…Shauna was that great.

To my surprise, when I went to pay out, as I was pulling out a extremely generous tip, the receptionist totaled my bill out to $145!!!!!!!  I was confused and explained what I had ordered and what I had expected to pay.  It turns out that I was given a stylist who was a “level 2” stylist with their salon and therefore it increased both services by $10 automatically.  Not to mention, that throughout or consultation she had offered to either do a full weave to cover my roots, or just do a root touch up on the hair not being colored.. I told her to do what was easier.  Little did I know that it was an extra $27!!!  Had I taken the more difficult road, it wouldn’t have been any additional charges.

I was so ticked off!  I felt completely taken advantage of.  I quickly put my generous tip back in my wallet and requested my return appointment be cancelled.  Who in their right mind would pay $145 for something that will grow out or fade away within 6 weeks?!  Never in my life, would I or could I be that frivolous.  Even my worst haircuts have grown out to be replaced by other cuts…

At any rate, I look great for now,  and it feels pretty decadent (if not a bit wasteful) to be walking around with $145 worth of skill in my hair.  Yeah, I paid out of pocket $45, which some would say is a phenomenal deal for this level of artistry I carry around on my shoulders (wink, wink)  But alas, it will be forgotten in 3 months and no one will be the wiser for my naivete in trying to pretend to be the posh girl, going to a spa…

Yeah, i blew it already didnt I? lol   My only defense is that I took the day off yesterday and my whole schedule  has been screwed up.

Today I have  a dentist appointment.  Blah.. I want to cancel it. I hate the dentist….

On  a happy note.  November is here..and I know most of you hate to hear it..I am starting to plan for Christmas.  No, the tree isn’t up yet…and I promised Shane that I wouldnt put it up until after Thanksgiving, but nevertheless, I am getting into the baking mode.  I feel the need to bake candies, cookies, cakes…

This turn of events doesnt bode well for my waistline or Shanes… lol

NaBloPoMo

Its can’t bleeve its upon us again! Thanks to Barefoot Belle I am now signed up and are ready for another go. Last year I failed miserably..hopefully the few people (2?) will be able to keep me motivated. I will try if you will!!!

Visit NaBloPoMo

One day, I will have time to contemplate the poetry I have in my head. I have this vision of getting back to this blog and writing about the quiet life, the excitement of living in perpetual sunshine, and taking naps with my love on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Today is not that day though. I can’t seem to get that, waking up feeling, sitting on the back porch with a hot cup of coffee just yet.

September 1st, Shane and I will move into OUR apartment. Let the rain fall….

We mended the relationship.   Sorry for the silence..Im just happy and works been picking up to boot.

Yeah, he chose me!!!   He wouldn’t have a problem trying for our own family.   It turns out that camping for 3 days makes us very poor communicators.  After a few hours of conversation, we were able to re-communicate what we both want out of the relationship.  And when it came right now to it… we both want the same things.     I won’t bore you with the details, but this last couple of weeks have really been great.  Shane’s behavior has changed a bit.  He seems to be more comfortable with me in general.  It seems like he is making a bigger effort to show me how he feels about me, and it feels wonderful.